The Lost Blogs Page 4

  Nevertheless, it is okay. Some of you have asked what I find beautiful. Where my images come from. I have said before and will say it again—first I dream my dreams, and then I paint them. Everything comes from within, and beauty is, indeed, in the eye of the beholder.

  Personally, I find beauty in the natural moments around us. The stars in the sky. A flower in a vase. The human face, i.e., the nose, ears and mouth. There can be beauty in most anything and as long as one finds something worth looking at, there are bound to be others.

  Which brings me to the art of shaving.

  I find that shaving is a very complicated job that requires the steadiest of hands. It’s ironic, that my hands can hold a paintbrush without a tremor, yet when I bring a blade up to the side of my beard, my digits shake with terror. It’s amazing to watch, as the hand holding said blade jerks back and forth as if it has a mind of its own. It has often made it hard to shave my beard, and one of the reasons I leave it intact.

  This week, however, I plan on shaving my beard completely off—and trimming my sideburns from next to my ears. As my great-nephew will be visiting I would like to present myself in a far more conservative light as opposed to the manner in which I portray myself when I am alone, working solitarily. If you must know, the last time my great-nephew visited me I was tired, unshaven and slovenly—it scared him to see me in such a state of disarray.

  That is why I have decided to snip the problem before he arrives, and allow the two of us to bond as I had hoped the previous visit—a great-uncle and his great-nephew, two clean-cut relatives, comfortable with each other in each and every way.

  You’ll probably never recognize me when I’m done!

  From: http://www.maryshelley.blog/

  Subject: Writer’s Block

  You may remember my writings of last week in which I told you of the unique writing exercise I took part in with fellow literates like Dr. John Polidori. A ghost story was the goal, and I was surprisingly dry of inspiration.

  Yesterday evening, still desperate for such inspiration, I made my way to a local café where I sat with my journal, scribbling notes. For most of the evening, things were quiet indeed, and I found myself wrapping things up as the sun began to set.

  That was just about the time that “he” walked in.

  Filled with liquor and the accompanying stench to prove it, the most uncoordinated human being I have ever seen pushed his way in through the doors to the establishment. He was knocking over chairs and tables and moaning incoherent phrases that no one could understand. Even for me, sitting at a corner table, his glazed eyes and hulking stature caused me to gather my things and retreat to the other side of the café.

  As he entered the establishment he knocked two candles off a nearby table, sending them crashing to the floor and lighting a small curtain on fire—which fell and caused the man to scream in a rage that terrified most of us. His coordination faltering, the man landed headfirst on yet another table, sending him crashing to the floor where he remained quiet from that point forward.

  The waiter informed me that this drunkard, Franco, was often getting himself into trouble the likes of which no one had ever seen—and that he was homeless and without family, often wandering the streets looking for someone or something to take him in. It was sad, of course, and it caused me to think for a moment about what it means to belong.

  Nonetheless, after things calmed, I found my way back home where I continued to try and come up with a story for this ridiculous literary challenge. And still, here I sit, without a subject, story or even an engaging character around which I could fashion a story.

  Maybe a good night’s rest will do my creative mind some good.

  From: http://www.julius_caesar.com/

  Subject: Thoughts of March

  As I write this, I ready my campaign against Parthia—a victory that, if achieved, will bring Rome the wealth it once had and lost. I find myself confident that such a campaign will be successful, bringing not just me but all Romans the spoils of victory. Talk of this will do us no good as its success is already guaranteed by the almighty Jupiter.

  Instead, let’s talk about some of my cohorts for a moment.

  Specifically, I speak of Gaius Trebonius, Gaius Cassius Longinus and my cousin Marcus Brutus. The other evening we were all sitting out under the stars talking of our past triumphs together and the future to come.

  I recall saying to Brutus that I found myself looking to the month of April. That once March passed and the campaign against Parthia began… that April should be a very pleasant month.

  Yet Brutus simply said, “Yeah, not so much.”

  I turned to Gaius Cassius and asked him if he might desire sharing a meal with me back at the palace—and he asked when. After telling him that such a date should occur within the next seven days, he replied, “Dear Caesar… why don’t we wait to make plans until, well, more time has passed?”

  First Brutus had no love of April. Then Gaius wanted to wait until more time has passed to share a meal together? I turned to the last of my three, Gaius Trebonius, and asked him if, possibly, he wanted to go hunting the following week. His response?

  “Ask me in April.”

  I paused, eyeing all three of the men at my side. And with my forceful voice I demanded to know what was going on.

  At first, the looks on their faces were taut—but then, smiles all around. These three men, whose careers had advanced and whose previously murderous activities had been pardoned by yours truly… Caesar, suddenly began… one by one… to laugh.

  First, Gaius Cassius, then Trebonius, and finally Brutus. Laughter all around. It seemed as if the joke was on me.

  I said, “Even you, Brutus?”

  The men by my side, those who surround me and support me, had fooled me with their innocent joke.

  “You guys…” I said, scolding their practical joke.

  They laughed some more and more and more until they couldn’t laugh anymore. It was, to say the least, a humorous and lighthearted evening from then on.

  From: http://www.buster_keaton.com/blog/

  Subject: —

  At a loss for words, today.

  From: http://www.blogs.com/~l_ron.hubbard/

  Subject: On Stands Now!

  Today marks an exciting milestone for yours truly.

  My latest novel, Final Blackout, which many of you have heard me mention in previous posts, is now available for order. You can, of course, go to a store and buy it there but if you order now from the link at the left—you’ll get a very special edition of the book from yours truly and you don’t have to give your money away to the corporate bigwigs. Buy it here.

  For those who don’t know, Final Blackout takes place in a futuristic world ravaged by thirty years of war and centers on the main character known simply as “The Lieutenant.” Well, who is he? He’s charismatic. A leader. A statesman. The only man who is capable of taking power away from those who have gained control in less than appealing ways. The book is getting a great deal of good reviews, great press, and a huge 100,000-copy first printing, which means it’s got to be good.

  Funnily enough, one of my friends had read an early copy of the book and called me on the phone to discuss it the other day. His comments were glowing, of course, and he spent a lot of time praising the core theme of the book—that one man can, indeed, against insurmountable odds, do absolutely anything he sets his mind to. That one man, if he appears crazily passionate enough, can convince a world of people to follow him in his cause no matter how insane or silly that cause may appear on the surface!

  Then he joked and said that it almost felt like a religion unto itself!

  We laughed about it for a few minutes, the fact that modeling any kind of religious following based on themes from a science fiction book would just be plain silly. We talked about how hilarious it might have been had people modeled a religion after H. G. Wells’s book War of the Worlds—you know, a religion that would be based on the theme of strange al
ien creatures that must be eradicated or else humans would suffer! A religion based on getting rid of aliens! Hah !

  We must have laughed for hours as we went through a variety of well-known pieces of literature, turning each one into our own wacky religion. It was entertaining, to say the least.

  Nonetheless, I digress.

  So, don’t forget to visit the L. Ron Hubbard Online Store and purchase my latest book so that I am able to continue to bring you the quality science fiction literature that all of you have grown to expect.

  Thanks for all your support!

  From: http://www.marilynmonroe.com/~blog/

  Subject: Grrrr!

  I hate J. I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him.

  There I said it.

  Well, I didn’t say it. I typed it. But you know what I mean.

  Why do guys have to always be so all about themselves? Why do they have to put their work above the women they love? It’s always the same thing. Mostly, with J, he’s just so obsessed with his work that I can hardly ever steal away time with him. Sometimes, it feels like he’s trying so hard to control the world around him that he never has time for me. Sneaking around, late night calls—I don’t know, but I don’t always feel like I’m his primary focus. If you can’t meet me at a nice restaurant for a nice dinner out with the rest of the town… If you have to meet me at a hotel at 1 am in the morning, well, there’s something definitely wrong with our relationship.

  I mean, it seems that way, doesn’t it?

  Thanks for all the great e-mails and support. Frank and Eloise were right when they e-mailed to tell me to forget about J. That if he really loved me he’d make the time and stop all these excuses about “important meetings” and “world-shaping decisions.” I mean, c’mon—who tells their girlfriend that they can’t meet up because of something going on in Cuba.

  Cuba!? It’s not even like he was going to Cuba.

  It’s obvious, isn’t it. I am so stupid. One of those girls, you know? So head over heels for J. Why do I always have to do this? Why do I always fall for the assholes? The guys who treat me like a piece of garbage and walk all over me? I don’t deserve this. Really, I don’t. I’m a good girl. Well, you know what I mean.

  E-mail me and tell me if you think I should stay with J. If more people say I should stay with J than people telling me not to, I’ll take that as a sign. If more people say I should break up with J, then… Well, then I’ll think about breaking up with J. If it’s equal on both sides, then I’ll wait and see how this week goes.

  I hate him I hate him I hate him.

  From: http://www.leonardo-davinci.com/class_notes.html

  Subject: Four Years… in the Making

  Students looking for the annual list of assignments and lectures should be looking here. Students looking for this week’s current assignment can surf here. All other class-related questions can be directed to leo@davinci.com.

  I’d like to take this weeks entry to talk about our ongoing class project that has finally just been completed. Back in 1503 I decided that not only should I teach students how to find their own creative vision, but also how to work in groups to complete a collective piece of artwork. It was then that we began this ‘untitled project’ and my group of students that year decided on the direction of the piece of art.

  Dubbed Lady on Canvas, students in my ‘03 class never got around to painting anything resembling a woman at all. By the end of classes that year, the collective work resembled a backdrop of sorts. Columns, mountain trails and greenery. View the artwork from ’03 here.

  Students in my ’04 seminar began working on the collective project halfway through the season, each taking turns adding depth, color and dimension to the project, which eventually resulted in the image of a young mans face looking out from the center of the canvas. Some joked tht the young man’s face resembled that of a pious Jesus Christ, so in response, students mischievously painted ambiguous and meaningless codes and riddles into the piece, then changed the name from Lady on Canvas to Decapitated Male Head Floating Above the Mountains. So amusing. A snapshot of the project at this point in the exercise is here.

  My ’05 class, unhappy with the artistic direction of this collective work, painted over elements of the ’03 and ’04 students, changing the man’s face into that of a homely woman’s face which happened to resemble that of our very own Italian student, Lisa. Thus, it made total sense for ’05 students to rename the project, Lisa Abroad, in the Mountains of Ether. Now completed, the project represents almost three years in the making, and proves the point that a piece of art is never finished—it is always evolving.

  It also just goes to show you—it takes many to create a singular piece of flawless art.

  Since my students completed the collective work, I have framed it in an ornate gold housing, hanging it in my home. You can see it in all its glory here and here. For a project completed over all those years, by all those people, Lisa Abroad, in the Mountains of Ether is, in my opinion—a true collective masterpiece.

  One that each and every student should receive notoriety from.

  From: http://www.jessiejames.com/~blog/

  Subject: Linky Love…

  The gang’s been busy lately and we’ve been riding west—looks like we’re about comin’ up on Missouri soon where we’ve got some business to take care of if ya know what I mean. Meantime, wanted to give a holler to my boys who all have these writin’ spaces of their own where they talk about their thoughts and stuff.

  Also cuz they keep harassin’ me about telling you all about their spaces cuz people come here to see what the great Jessie James is doin’ but never go to their spaces—so those whining dogs have finally gotten what was comin’ to them. Go to their space and look around or I’ll shoot ya! Hah. Just kidding.

  Frank James: My bra. Loves animals. Loves to shoot ’em. Talks about shootin’ animals on his scribblin’ space. Shot a deer last week. Loved that too. He got a picture of it up there if you wanna see it.

  Bob Younger: Brother of Cole and James. Likes shootin’ stuff too. But not animals. Hates snakes. Afraid of ’em. He’s got a horse too. His horse hates snakes also. Would rather shoot you than eat vegetables.

  Cole Younger: Loves gold. Loves guns. Loves shooting if it means it’ll get him some gold. Wrote a poem about gold and it’s on his site. Pretty inspirin’.

  James Younger: Can hold two guns at once. Loves to tell you that he can, even though everyone else has two hands and can do the same thing. Don’t kid him about it or hell shoot ya. Loves to shoot his gun like the rest of the boys. Hates his last name and will shoot you if you make fun of it

  Bill Chadwell, Clell Miller and Charlie Pitts: These guys all love shooting their guns off and if it involves robbin’ and stuff they’re happier than pigs in mud. Don’t believe in shooting anyone in the back—that’s just plain criminal. Good guys, these three.

  Look forward to any comments from all you readers out there. No one seems to want to leave comments ever since that one guy left a negative comment and, well, you know what happened.

  I just want to promise all of you that it will never happen again! I’m working through the anger issues and welcome your thoughts on my writin’ space and my boys’ writin’ spaces!

  Serious! What d’ya all think about my writin’ space here!?

  From: http://www.donnerfamily.com/~george_donner/blog.html

  Subject: Heading West!

  On behalf of the entire Donner family, I’m logging our last post before we leave Illinois for the West Coast. With us comes the Reed family and their hired hands—in total, the party ends up at around thirty-one individuals. Hello to all of you reading this entry!

  You should know, I took a peek at the food we’ll be bringing along for the trip and it is mmm, mmm good! Beef and flour and other yummy bits of rations not only make my stomach rumble, but make me long for those warm nights under the starry sky, singing songs and sharing ourselves with each other.

/>   There’s nothing like the excitement of a new beginning. Of taking a minor, if not tiny little risk, to live a better life in California! Where it’s sunny and the weather is great and both families (Reed and Donner) can learn to depend on each other’s skills and dedication. Remember, it’s what’s on someone’s inside that counts! In our toughest times over the course of the next few weeks that’s something we should all remember.

  Look within and take advantage of that! I know I will!

  My wife asked me what I was looking forward to the most over the course of the next few weeks, and I must say it’s the hunkering down and spending some isolated, quiet time with the rest of our party. You know, finding a shelter, making camp and not having to deal with any other people in the world. An experience like that, where it’s just us and no one else for miles, to me, seems like paradise! Here’s to something just like that!

  I’ll be checking back in with you at various points during the trip, but if you don’t hear from me it just means that we’re having a wonderful, successful and productive good time and we’ll contact each other as soon as we find a place to settle in!

  E-mail me with any questions!

  From: http://www.jimhenson.com/~blog/

  Subject: Another One Bites the Dust…

  Yet another relationship… down the tubes.

  G sat me down this past weekend after six months of being together and told me that she no longer wanted us to see each other. That she just felt like we weren’t connecting and that our backgrounds were different. This, of course, is something I’ve heard before and I never asked questions—I always accepted the outcome. But not this time. I wasn’t going to let another relationship end without finding out the exact reason why.